As 2015 unfolds, many speak of the hope and excitement they have for their dreams, their ministries and their organizations. The quiet voices are often the ones burdened by uncertainty, concern, and downright dread of what the year could bring. It is to those leaders that I write today.

When things aren’t going great, when the organization isn’t thriving but just barely holding on, when uncertainty and concern rather than hope and inspiration fill your heart at the thought of the year ahead, know this.

Jesus wins. Every time.

Failure seems right around the corner. Your project. The team’s new initiative. The entire organization. It seems nothing can succeed.

Jesus wins. Every time.

You dig deep, but it’s not enough. You give more, but things only get worse. You refocus but the progress is incremental and shallow.

Jesus still wins. Every time.

Your prayers are desperate. Your heart is humble. You’re pleading with God to turn things around. But nothing changes.

Jesus wins. Every time.

Redemption didn’t end at the cross. Gospel-driven leaders can rest in the power of God to redeem all things – including failures, and painful ends to dreams.

The organization may not continue. The program may not succeed. The job may end. The ministry may suffer. It hurts. It frustrates. It’s hard. How do we make sense of it all? How do we transcend the daily difficulty that weighs on our soul? How do we re-define the win?

We must step outside ourselves and our limited perspective.

My mistake was burying myself so deeply into the very small box of a specific role, a specific ministry and a specific vision of success, leaving no room for the Spirit to show me the much larger work He was doing around me. That work didn’t include the success (the well intentioned success) I thought it would. But neither did it mean failure. Because here’s what I learned – we’ve got the wrong definition of winning.

Winning is not everything getting better all the time. Winning is not every new project being a big success. Winning is not my ability to outperform expectations. Winning is not a lack of failure. Winning is not staying ahead of everyone else.

Winning is following. Faithfully taking the journey God calls me to, trusting Him when the unexpected cliffs, valleys, and break points come. Winning is submitting to the valley because He says it’s necessary to do a new thing. It may mean sitting in a dry and barren desert while He works to create renewed hunger and thirst in me, and others, for Him.

The struggle to preserve something dear to us can lead us to miss the win. If you’re facing failure, if you’re nervous about 2015, take heart in something bigger than yourself. God is at work. Jesus wins. Every time.


“I feel busted,” a friend of mine confessed after listening to a song about prayer. Her words are still with me, months later, because it felt like she was speaking from my own heart, with words I’ve failed to muster. I’ve felt that before: completely found out—caught in the act, even. Romans 12:9 has a way of making me feel busted: Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them.”

We’ve all felt the disappointment that comes when someone’s words don’t match their actions—when something we allowed ourselves to get excited about never came to fruition. I’m also willing to bet we’ve all done it to some degree or another. I’ve been on the receiving end of people who have claimed to miss me, and never called; I’ve also dealt it out.

I feel busted when I read Romans 12:9 because I fear, all too often, I know the right things to say. There’s this term in psychology called “inappropriate affect” which refers to a mismatch in the content of what someone is saying and how they are saying it. When someone tells a sad story, with a smile on their face, or, someone states they are happy in a depressed tone, it tells us something is wrong. There is a disconnection. I see this in myself, when I’m willing to look. I’ve acted happy, when I was afraid of how unhappy I felt. I’ve acted like I cared about things I didn’t because I felt I should care. Honestly, I’ve done a whole lot of things to appear as though I’m kinder, and more loving, I really am. That’s why I feel busted when I read Romans 12:9—because I know I’m guilty of pretending.

I think Paul is advocating for connection and authenticity, when he says “really love them.” Essentially: mean it. It occurred to me the other day that the fight to be authentic is also the fight for vulnerability. Wrapped up in my moments of acting is a desire to appear stronger and more put together than I am—it is usually fueled by a desire to not appear vulnerable. The truth is that I am, and need to be, vulnerable. I am weak, and prone to fear, save for the grace of God, and need to be vulnerable before Him, and others, if I am to know intimacy.

It is my desire to be, more and more, a person who means what I say. I want to call a bad day a bad day, be the first to admit, and laugh at, my weakness, and learn to abound in love—genuine love. The thing is: it’s not easy. We’re in this constant fight against our own duplicity, but the good, good news is that we’re not alone in it. God made vulnerability, and change, possible by loving us first. It’s said that our greatest human need is to be fully known and fully loved, and every bit of that is demonstrated in Jesus’ work on the cross. Knowing all our sin, He took it onto Himself, and sacrificed His life that we may live. Because of that: there is no longer any condemnation, or need for shame.
We can come out of hiding.


There are a few areas of leadership I feel quite competent in, and others I’d dub as, “Seriously Needing Growth” (which is a nice churchy-way of saying, I suck at em’). So, along with reading books on leadership, engaging with strong leaders, and looking for every opportunity to implement what I’m learning from both, I’ve also been praying.

But not in the manner you’d expect.

Rather than ask solely for improvements or an upgrade in the areas of needed growth in my life, I’ve been asking the Great Resourcer to raise up around me a godly team of men and women who excel in those specific areas of leadership I’m lacking in. Here are three things I’ve prayed for:

  • “Lord, allow me the privilege of meeting and working alongside godly men and women in whom you’ve placed similar passions and dreams.”
  • “Lord, grant them great competence in the areas of leadership that cause me to break into a sweat.”
  • “Lord, grant us as a team a burning passion for your plans and a joyful camaraderie even when conflict is a necessary path we have to travel.

As if reading my mind, my good friend and bro-in-ministry-trenches, Ryan Faison, recently posted a similar sentiment on Facebook.


How awesome is that? Your dreams DO need a team, and frankly, the level of talent and skills of people around you will determine how far you’ll go. Consider these men: Michael Jordan was outstanding, but having Scottie Pippen, Steve Kerr, and even Dennis Rodman came in handy during multiple NBA championships. Even with his dictatorial style of leadership at Apple, Steve Jobs is noted as having credited Jonathan Ive and his team for a lot of innovative products the company has put out.

Heck, even Jesus had a team!

Calm down heresy-hunters. I am well aware that Christ is all-sufficient God in Himself, and needs no one to complete Him. However, in His wisdom, He not only saw it fit to surround Himself with 12 dudes to advance His cause, but entrusted them with His vision (after His ascension) to redeem humanity to Himself.

All that to say, your dream needs a team, preferably a team made up of people smarter than you who share similar values, passions, and endgame.

Don’t have a team yet? (or even a dream to start with?). Then start where I started. Ask Christ in prayer, to birth in you a vision for your life and infuse you with a passion to pursue it. Then pray for the three things listed above and GO impact your world.

The truth of the matter is, people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world or put a dent in the universe, crazy enough to humble themselves and surround themselves with men and women more brilliant than they, are usually the ones who do! (à la Steve Jobs).


During college I had the opportunity to teach a dance class for pre-schoolers and throughout that experience I observed that each one of my students fell into a certain category when it came to receiving instruction. It struck me that many of their attitudes are similar to how we react to God’s discipline and guidance.

1. The Wanderer: This child never stays in line, continually ignores  redirection, apologizes but then just continues to deviate.

2. The Follower: Always looking to others in the class to mimic their actions and appears to lack confidence in their own skill.

3. The Defiant one: The one who says “No, I don’t want to do that!” to every. single. request.

4. The Kiss up: The one who can be found saying, “Look at me! Look at me!” It’s all about them and they take pride in doing things well when they are seen by others.

5. The Hungry one: Watches the teacher, listens to the teacher, copies the teacher and is grateful for the teacher’s instruction.

Are you catching where I am going with this?

The last two examples remind me of a biblical story in Luke 10 where two women are both wanting to serve their Teacher but the attitude of their heart is reflected in their actions.

 “38 “As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman      named Martha opened her home to him. 39 She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. 40 But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, ‘Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!’

41 ‘Martha, Martha,’ the Lord answered, ‘you are worried and upset about many things,42 but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.’ “

Was Martha seeking praise from Jesus? Was Martha looking for compliments? Was she a kiss up? We don’t know what was exactly going on in her heart, but we do know that she was focused on valuable things instead of the valuable One.

We have this great Teacher who is available to us at anytime and anywhere. He will guide us in decisions, teach us, counsel us in time of need, show us new and exciting things and correct when we need it so that we grow. In this passage, Jesus challenges us that our hearts would not be found by him to be wandering, defiant, following others or trying to receive accolades from Him and others.

This story, especially during the Christmas season, reminds us of what Jesus sees as most important. Jesus is clearly telling us that Mary has chosen wiser. She has chosen to listen to Him and receive His instruction with gladness and gratefulness.

In response to God’s teaching, which attitude do you relate to most? Are you defiant? Following others’ teaching? Are you hungry like Mary? Maybe it’s none of these observed five but my prayer is that we all would become hungrier for God’s teaching and we would be found living like Him as we take time to learn at His feet.

segun - punch rejection in the face

Ever been told your efforts aren’t good enough? Or, “Your idea is not quite what we’re looking for?”

Those conversations can be very demotivating. In fact, rejection downright sucks, and can sometimes cause you to abandon your dreams.

But did you know that some pop-culture stars we look up to today were once thought as “not good enough”? Check out these rejection letters photo lists from Among them is a 1979 letter from RSO records to the newly emerging group, U2. The letter states, “…we have listened with careful consideration, but feel it is not suitable for us at the present moment.”


Too bad for RSO because that “little” group they rejected has gone on to sell over 150 million records, win 22 Grammy Awards, (most of any band ever), and performed in the highest grossing concert tour in history.

A few more noteworthy rejections include:

Walt Disney – Fired from the Kansas City Star in 1919 because he “lacked imagination and had no good ideas.”

JK Rowling – Rejected by dozens, including HarperCollins, when a small publisher in London took a chance on Harry Potter.

Oprah Winfrey – Fired as an evening news reporter of Baltimore’s WJZ-TV because she couldn’t separate her emotions from her stories.

Steve Jobs – Fired from the company he started, Apple, but was desperately brought back in 1997 to save it. Apple is now the most valuable company in the world.

Abraham Lincoln – Demoted from Captain to Private during war, failed as a businessman, and lost several times as a political candidate before becoming President.

So. Some of your BIG IDEAS been rejected lately? Cry it off. Get back up. Make a better version of your original plan. PUNCH REJECTION IN THE FACE, and give it another shot. If you’re a follower of Jesus Christ, throw in a few days of prayer and fasting, then PUNCH rejection in the face again with some Jesus-power!

Maybe years from now, some young kid who has just been rejected will go online, google your story and go, “You know what? If he/she could punch rejection in the face, then I’m giving this another shot!”

My son is in kindergarten and his amazing mind is swirling with all things letters, reading, writing and spelling. He has taken to saying “I-D-N” when I ask him a question in lieu of actually saying “I don’t know.” He does this on a fairly regular basis. Every, single day. And he does it, without hesitancy, on matters big and small.

Somewhere along the way I think some of us have lost our freedom to say “I-D-N.” Instead, we’ve picked up a whole lot of inhibition and the thinking that we’re supposed to have an answer – the right answer – for every question and every decision. I suspect we are equating our worthiness for our role(s) with our ability to continually demonstrates comprehensive expertise.


Why do we think we have to keep proving ourselves to have already arrived?

It’s more than the rising volume of voices filling every spare space of our lives with expert opinion and the latest trends to stay up on.

It’s more than the blogs and podcasts that make it seem like everyone else is way ahead of the curve, while you’re fighting to keep up.

It’s more than the achievement culture of our time.

It’s deep within the recesses of our hearts. It’s that voice that says, “You better have the right answer so they still believe in you. Come on, make the right decision or they’ll think you don’t know what you’re doing.” In essence, it’s the fear of being found out. The fear of being exposed as anything less than 100% competent for the leadership you’ve been given. The fear of appearing weak and unsure. The fear that “I don’t know” is the same as “I am a failure.”

Ever felt this way?

We can live this way for awhile and not even realize it. But sooner or later it begins to catch up with us and we slowly collapse from within under the weight of our own internal pressure. When we release that pressure, when we open the valve and take the risk to let others see the limits of ourselves, we are releasing a greater freedom. The freedom to experience a deeper trust from others, the freedom to walk in humility, the freedom to lean deeper into who we are in Christ rather than our own performance.

We don’t have it all figured out. I do not have all the answers, and I don’t know the right decisions to make every time. This can be exceptionally difficult to let show if there isn’t a deep level of trust. But oh! If you want to grow trust, if you need to create vulnerability, there’s nothing like a honest leader who faced with a big decision will look a colleague or team member in the eye and be willing to say, “I don’t know.”

This sixth leadership lesson could be a longer series in and of itself – after all, we can’t just say “I don’t know.” We still need to lead. This is not an excuse to pass the buck or a strategy for shirking responsibility. But I wanted to speak to those who, like me, may find themselves carrying the weight of an undue burden. Who struggle to even open the door to admitting they don’t have it all figured out. I wish I had started saying “I don’t know” years ago. When I finally did, it released me and my colleagues (as well as friends and family) to a safer place of trust and humility in which we all thrived.

segun aiyegbusi - deadlines

I had a vision 9 years ago.

The vision was of a full-on dramatic production where I told the story of my first encounter meeting Jesus Christ. I was so jazzed about the idea that I told friends about it, wrote down a bunch of key scenes, and went to see some live productions to generate some inspiration.

Every month and every year, I kept saying excitedly, “Man! This is gonna be sooo huge!” and every month and every year I kept imagining it would come to fruition the following month and the following year. For 9 years!!!

Then one day, I met a friend named Cindy TeNieck. Cindy is not only a creative who has actual stage production experience, but Cindy is a time-management totalitarian. One of the first things she did was set a DEADLINE for when this production would take place, then we worked backwards. She set deadlines for when my 9-year-old script had to be finished, deadlines for when we had to have figured out a budget, cast the play, run rehearsals, secure a location, and advertise the event. We wrote it all down on paper, because in the words of Dave Ramsey, “when you force your thought process through another layer and verbalize your thoughts, you reach a higher level of understanding. This escalation of your thought process happens yet again when you WRITE out your problem.”

Almost immediately, something awesome began to happen.

I began to see with amazing clarity my 9-years-ago-dream slowly take shape. As we worked hard to meet all our target dates (which we did), I developed a close new relationship with Mr. deadline. Turns out, he’s not too shabby! He actually cares about my hopes and dreams and is just as invested in my future as I am.

I’m telling you, he’s the real deal! Some might say he restricts creativity. True. But most creative people will probably tell you that without deadlines, we’re almost content to just keep dreaming!

So, my point? Start a new relationship with deadlines. Heck, impose a (realistic) deadline on yourself if there isn’t one already built into a goal you have. Write it down on paper and place it where you can see it daily as a motivator. You’ll probably be a little afraid about setting a date on paper because it suddenly means you need to start working harder, but trust me, deadlines will get you to your desired destination faster. In the words of the ever-hilarious, ever-awesome Jon Acuff, “if there’s one thing fear fears, it’s paper.” In that same light, you know what procrastination fears more than anything else? Yup. DEADLINES!

Lemme get all spiritual on you for a moment. Did you know that God also has deadlines? Yeah. For real. Acts 17:31 says, “For he has set a day when he will judge the world with justice by the man [Jesus Christ] he has appointed. He has given proof of this to everyone by raising him from the dead.” Here’s another one in Matthew 24:14, “And the Good News about the Kingdom will be preached throughout the whole world, so that all nations will hear it; and then the end will come.” So as it turns out, God is not just in heaven twiddling His thumbs. He’s on the move to and fro throughout the earth, rallying men and women to Himself through faith in Christ. When the last soul gets saved, (God’s DEADLINE) then the veil between heaven and earth will be removed and God’s plan for eternity will begin to unfold.

So if the creator of heaven and earth finds it necessary to have deadlines for His sovereign plans, then guess what? “Arise O Sleeper and set a deadline for your dreams!”

If you happen to work at a job where deadlines are a dreaded way of life, rather than allow it to work against you, consider turning it into an ally. So, your boss says a project is due on the 31st? Break it down into manageable pieces. Set smaller goals like coming up with 3 things that you can easily knock out by the 15th (that will make the end goal more reachable). Once you hit those 3, set 2 more you can knock by the 25th, and so on. I realize it isn’t always that easy, but you kinda don’t have any options!

I leave you with this quote from Adam Savage (the not-so-bearded dude from Myth Busters), “Deadlines refine the mind. They remove variables like exotic materials and processes that take too long. The closer the deadline, the more likely you’ll start thinking waaay outside the box.”

I repeat, DEADLINES ARE YOUR FRIEND! (Oh, by the way, that dramatic production from 9 years ago? Totally nailed it! It resulted in a 2 weekend showing (packed house at all 4 shows) titled, “ON THAT DAY” – CHECK OUT THE VIDEO HERE – Starts at 03:24)


I am perplexed and comforted by David’s words in Psalm 31:22: In my alarm I said, “I am cut off from your sight!” Perplexed because, if anyone had deeply experienced the goodness, and faithfulness, of the Lord, it was David. Comforted because I feel David’s words are my own. I hear my heart crying the same: “God, you cannot hear me!” Because surely, if He heard me, I would not be suffering from this or that, feel pressures from work, or have difficult relationships. Surely, if He heard me He would intervene immediately and change my circumstances.

I’ve been realizing recently that I am my own obstacle to experiencing God’s goodness. My perceptions, my expectations, and my belief that I should be the one calling the shots have created all these preconceived notions of what life should be like. And, when I don’t get the job; when I’m tired; when I don’t see progress; when money is tight; when the things I keep praying for don’t happen, I don’t feel good. When I don’t feel good, I am tempted to believe He is not good. The truth is that I often confuse God’s goodness for a feeling.

It is not natural for me to equate the heartaches and challenges I find myself navigating through with His love for me. Honestly, I’d like for my life to be more like a numbered connect the dots and less like a maze. I want to know the plan, where I’m headed, and why. I want to know why. There are days where it feels like more of an act of will than anything else to affirm and trust in His goodness. In my distress, I often feel He cannot hear me.

I hear words from Isaiah, resounding in my ears:

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord.
As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.”

I wonder if changing circumstances would really solve the problem, or problems. Maybe there is something happening in me, or others, as I stumble through the struggle. Maybe God is doing something greater than I can perceive, something that is greater than my limited expectations afford. Maybe it really is good. I’ve heard that the mark of an authentic Christian is the surrender of the will and I’ve got to believe that’s what all this is about—that as we walk through unknowns and insecurities, our hands would be loosed from what they hold: that we would yield our expectations to His.

But, what do we do with the days, months or years, when life pushes in on all sides, and we feel He cannot hear us?

Remember who He is.
God’s existence—His sovereignty over us, His full-knowledge and love for us is objectively true. He is, and always will be. My subjective perspectives of Him is what changes. Filling our minds with scripture, meditating on His words, reorients us towards His character. It’s not just reading, it’s a reminder.

Spend time with His people.
I recently attended a bible study where we were confessing our inaccurate views of God; someone spoke up: “maybe in our conversations of God’s grace and goodness, your words will start to silence my own thoughts.” I think that’s true. The more we speak of Him, and what is true, the more accurately we will begin to view Him. Sometimes we need to be encouraged by others’ presence and hear talk of His love and beauty.

David goes on to say, shortly after in verse 23: “yet you heard my cry for mercy when I called to you for help.” Despite David’s feelings, his misperceptions and alarm, God had not left Him. He had, in fact, heard David. And, He hears us; we just might not see it, or feel it yet. A.W. Tozer, spoke well, when he said: “With the goodness of God to desire our highest welfare, the wisdom of God to plan it, and the power of God to achieve it, what do we lack? Surely we are the most favored of all creatures.”


I’ve really bonded with my two-year old friend, Regan, as I’ve cared for her and her brother this past year. Our conversations make me love her even more and usually I’ll come home at the end of the day eager to share one of them, yet the majority of the time no one else finds them funny but me!

And every so often, God uses her in my life to teach me lessons that I need to be taught.

We were playing in the sand box and I began to build a sand “mountain”. She was enthralled in her project but had looked over to see what I was building. She asked, “How did you do that, Christine?” So I proceeded to show her and give her simple instructions. She replied, “Oh no, I can’t build that.” I asked her why and she just shook her head saying, “I can’t build that. Regan’s not good enough.”

It broke my heart.

More than anything I wanted to grab her arms, shake her and say yes you are good enough! And then I remembered– she is two. But what I found so interesting is that at two years old, she has this ability and tendency to compare herself to someone else. She has this innate compulsion to look away from her own mission and parallel it with what other people are doing. And then proceeds to make assumptions about her own performance.

I do this all the time. It’s exhausting, debilitating and ultimately selfish. I’m so focused on where I want to be, who I want to be and the fact that someone else got there first that I forget my true identity.

Have you experienced this? I’m pretty sure we’ve all been there. You scroll through your Facebook feed to find picture-perfect families, chat with co-workers about workout routines and pretend like yours exists, see your friends buy the most beautiful home only to remember that you have to go back to your tiny apartment.

May I suggest to you that our eyes are on the wrong things. Earthly things (Philippians 3:19). Our gaze should be on Jesus. Comparing ourselves and fixing our sight on temporary things hinders us in this life from being effective servants in the Kingdom (Hebrews 12:1-2). Once we place our faith in Jesus, He gives us new eyes to see Him and to recognize Him working in our lives. However, we aren’t perfect and our eyes occasionally shift.

So how do we fix our gaze on Him and keep it from shifting?

1. Study Him. It can be anything about Him! Study all the questions that Jesus asked people. Study His responses to questions that people asked Him. Find patterns that he lived throughout His life and question why. Study the promises that He made and the prayers that He prayed.

2. Remember that Jesus took hold of you for a purpose (Philippians 3:12. And like Paul in Philippians 3, we must remember why Christ took hold of us. “I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.” As we do this, the comparisons between us and others can end because we know the Lord is faithful to complete His work in us. And it’s good work. Not only is it good, it is perfect (Deuteronomy 32:4).

3. Invite others into the work He is doing in your life. Knowing him and remembering what He has done is only the beginning. As we obey His calling to share the Gospel, we become more focused on His plan, His glory, His will and His heart.

After Regan’s self-comparison, I saw that she lost joy in her task at hand. She lost confidence in her own work. This may be you in your ministry, your leadership, perhaps even your parenting. Whatever it is, take heart! Because our righteousness does not depend on God comparing us with others or His law but is found in the perfect work of Jesus Christ. Fixing our eyes on Jesus is how we will stand firm (Philippians 3:17-4:1) in the work that God has called us to, the talents he has birthed and developed in us and protects us from the lie of inferiority.

lightstock_65127_xsmall_user_2976985Leadership Lesson #5  Lead Up, but Lead Gently

I’ve been working on the Fruit of the Spirit with my kids, and admittedly one of the most challenging for me is Gentleness. It hits me as a gut check for the way in which I speak, and the words that I use to communicate a point. And like so many other indications of growing in Christ-likeness, it must be rooted in humility.  It’s taken me 30+ years to get some healthy clarity on this, but as I’ve grown in emotional intelligence and self-awareness I’ve accepted that I have to grow in this area, because my natural tendencies are too abrasive, revealing the prideful bent of my heart. Not only will that abrasiveness cost me dearly in relationships, but it can seriously weaken my effectiveness as a leader. Specifically, at times when God calls me to “lead up.”

Jon Maxwell explains a leader who leads up as one who is adding value, supporting the leader above them, and setting themselves apart. In roles of strategic communication leadership I’ve had opportunities to lead up. Like all aspects of leadership, this is a stewardship. Not only of the influence, but of the other person’s heart. When given the opportunity to lead up, we can strengthen the heart or damage the heart. If I was damaging too often I need to determine why. So, part of understanding my often abrasive nature was examining its root. Yes, it was pride, but that pride was manifesting itself through an intolerance for perceived incompetency – things that I was too quick to point out in a not so gentle way when the door opened. It took God humbling my heart in a pretty serious way, to reveal my own incompetencies and soften my rough edges. But that allowed me to have the context I needed to approach new opportunities to lead up, in a different way.

See, here’s the thing.  At the end of the day, it really doesn’t matter how strong you are as a leader – the top spot is always, always, difficult. People constantly want more of you, someone (often lots of someones) is always unhappy with you, and you are ultimately responsible for more than anyone else in the organization. The burden of leadership is heavy. In most cases, the leader above me already knows the mistakes they wish they could correct, the gaps that need to be filled, and their personal shortcomings. What they need from me is to come alongside and lighten the load with insight, care, and clarity shared in gentleness. Isn’t that what we would all want from a leader on our team?

When you’re like me however, adopting a spirit of gentleness is almost a complete 180 to your natural wiring. It’s a heavy process of learning and refining, and walking in the Spirit for wisdom. It’s a practice of laying down my pride, and seeking to truly minister to those I’m following. Growing in gentleness is teaching me how to speak truth, while affirming the heart, and building trust. And it’s totally worth it. Speaking and acting in gentleness has fostered better working relationships, healthier culture, and better focus on what really matters – the relationship, not being right. So next time, before you speak up to lead up, remember – gentleness.

Side note:  I would be remiss if I didn’t also acknowledge that being married to one of the most gentle, but effective leaders I know, has helped tremendously. I’ve seen the way people gain influence with him when they are not only correct, but gentle. And I’ve seen him consistently lead up, (and as a result be given more and more influence) and even disarm difficult clients, by carefully and gently guiding them towards the correct course of action. Don’t get me wrong – he can be firm and direct, but he’s able to make and keep good relationships easily because of his approach. He’s way better at gentle leadership than me – grateful I get to learn from him!